Sneak preview and latest news about "Knickknack", a novel inspired by the works of H.P.Lovecraft

When the Carters move into a well-kept bungalow on the East Side of Madison, they soon discover they are sharing their new digs with what appears to be the spirit of Darryl Carter’s slain rapper brother, Demetrius AKA Uncle Playa. At first, it seems that their spectral housemate is only interested in helping Darryl’s brother Malcolm become Madison’s first black mayor and protecting his wife Denise and daughter Kelly from local thugs. However, after Darryl and Denise are attacked by a swarm of earwigs and Kelly is nearly pulled into the Land of the Pattywhacks, the sinister dimension that lies beyond the basement wardrobe, by an ungodly monstrosity, the Carters realize that the Knickknack, a shape shifting demon who thrives on deception, has been occupying their home since the day they moved in. When they try to flee, the entity attempts to devour their car, but they are rescued at the last minute by medium Tamara Phillips, who informs them that the only effective weapon against the Knickknack is a rare volume of spells entitled the Zuccothicon.
Unfortunately, when Tamara attempts to purchase a copy of the Zuccothicon from an old friend, a cult led by the evil warlock Vincent Buzaleeb steals the book to help realize the Knickknack’s scheme to overthrow Satan and rule hell. Tamara and the Carters follow Buzaleeb to a rundown gas station where Tamara manages to grab the book while Buzaleeb is tormenting a lottery winner trapped in a restroom. However, just when Tamara is convinced that the Carters’ battle with the Knickknack is almost won, she has a fatal encounter with the Gigantilupus, a giant wolf who serves as the Knickknack’s lieutenant. The Carters are able to take possession of the book, but soon discover that they will be unable to use it to defeat the Knickknack unless they are able to track down a trio of enchanted vampire bat ears, which will help them locate the incantations they require.
I was hoping that this synopsis would be intriguing enough to my current publisher, Eloquent Books, that they would award me a contract instead of making me pay for the production costs, which was what they made me do with "IVD". Unfortunately, they refuse to handle this title unless I pay them $995 or "IVD" sells at least 5,000 copies. I already paid the greedy bastards about $600 to publish "IVD" and I damn near broke the bank last month on holiday advertising for that title. I don't want to wait until "IVD" sells 5,000 copies to see "Knickknack" in hardcover, so I have decided to submit my query to Bookblaster.com, which will contact a bunch of publishers and agents on my behalf, and hopefully I'll see some satisfactory results from that endeavor within the next few weeks.

My favorite review of "IVD"

4.0 out of 5 stars ALLBOOKS REVIEWS, January 17, 2010
By Jan Whitford (Jamestown, Rhode Island) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)
Right out of the gate, I gotta say that I really like this author's style and voice! And you get the feel of it right away when he describes flipping off a driver with a cell phone plastered to his ear in a traffic gridlock, a "fifteen-mile-long phone booth". Soon after, the rest of the story explodes--non-stop action peppered with a plethora of vivid descriptions mixed with snappy dialogue just bursting with humorous tongue-in-cheek contemporary satire.
Mark, our protagonist, is a lowly grocery clerk. Trapped in a loveless marriage, he's looking to Crystal (his Taco Bell soul mate) to improve his life. When his old best friend from high school shows up, things look sort of promising but that's when the bottom drops out because Mark is falsely accused of the double murders of Crystal and his boss. In order to wiggle out of a 75-year prison sentence, he unwittingly becomes enmeshed in the Mafia. As the book jacket describes: "With breathless pacing and heart-pounding action, Greg Przywara's IVD has twists and turns that bring this bada-bing, exciting novel to an explosive and dramatic ending." The book jacket also tells us that Mr. Przywara is a writer and food industry worker, living in Wisconsin where he wrote two screenplays and is currently working on his second novel.
Well, by now you've probably guessed that I'm recommending this book, especially for readers who love good contemporary dialogue and tons of action. Geez, we even get Mafiosos who're capable of decapitating the statue of Harry Carey at Wrigley Field for Pete's sake. And during a real roller coaster ride of non-stop action, we're treated to a lawyer "full of mechanical regret", a homicidal school shooter, bullying cops, FBI pests, snarling pit bulls, dramatic fires, exploding DVDs, torrents of bullets, paramedics, silent-but-deadly flattulism, and even an obtuse connection with Al-Quaida. All this, Mr. Przywara deals out skillfully with his original literary style, weaved around ingenious sports allusions, betrayal and ultimately--redemption. Finally, I have a question. We all know that protagonists are good guys, right? That being the case, you think our hero will swab a guy's eyes permanently open with a Q-tip and Superglue, just to get information? Well, I guess you'll just have to read the book to find out.

Recommended by reviewer, Jan Evan Whitford ALLBOOKS REVIEWS
For more reviews and ordering information, click on the title of this entry.

How Brett Favre Saved Me from Writer's Block

This is probably the last thing you'd expect to see from a blog posted by Madison, WI's 1 Bears fan but it's 100% true. In March 2007, I was wrestling with a very difficult scene in IVD in which my protagonist Mark Crizlanek is unsuccessfully trying to wrest the identity of his lover's killer out of escaped school shooter Erik Stockton by torturing him with repeated viewings of a video of Erik being brutally beaten by a group of drunken jocks at a party. No matter how much liquor or visual torment Mark forced down his throat, Erik refused to give in unless Mark agreed to help him deliver anti-Hmong signs for his racist uncle in Tomah. I had decided to make Mark give up and try his luck with ex-friend- turned-deadly adversary, Trevor Gates, a pedestrian, one-dimensional strategy that would do nothing to make this book a legitimate contender in this insanely competitive market, so you can imagine my immeasurable relief when a certain news story irrevocably changed the whole direction of the narrative.

The image dissolved to Brett Favre holding a news conference at Lambeau Field, a usually mundane spectacle that normally would have been saved for the tale end of the six o'clock news, except for the crawl on the bottom of the screen that read FAVRE RETIRES. Erik's face grew as white as the sheet of paper in Number Four's trembling hands as the King of the Packrats tearfully announced his abdication. His reaction caught Mark off guard. It had never occurred to him until now that a kid whose motivation for breathing revolved around manipulation and violence had just as much Cheese Whiz flowing through his veins as the hordes of Brett's loyal disciples that swamped Mendota's every football Sunday. Mark picked up the wastebasket and held it under the kid's chin just in case the sudden ghostliness of his features meant the effects of his forced binge were kicking in.

"No, I'm not gonna puke," said Erik as he pushed the trash bin away,"but that still doesn't make what I gotta do any easier."

"Kid, it's not like God just quit," reassured Mark, still not quite ready to believe that someone like Erik could become so distraught over the retirement of an over-the-hill quarterback.

"No it's not that," contradicted Erik, his eyes level with the floor. "It's just that now I don't have an excuse to hide the name of your girlfriend's killer any longer." Mark's initial impulse was to dance around the room shouting Thank you Favre for accomplishing what torture could not! However, his skepticism at the kid's unwarranted change of heart kept his feet firmly embedded in the floor.

"Why?" he asked. Erik hurled himself into the couch with the limp exhaustion of someone who'd just been through the emotional tae bo workout from hell.

"About a month before I shot the principal, I was asking my uncle how much he'd pay me if he gave me a summer job and he told me that if I delivered five hundred signs, he'd get me Packer tickets. Now that Favre's gone, the Pack are gonna be the bottom feeders of the NFL for the next ten years, so what the hell do I need tickets for? There's no reason for us to go to Tomah and there's no reason why I shouldn't tell you who killed the Logan girl."

IVD, A gripping tale of crazy Chicago sports fans, mobsters, and exploding DVD's set in the heart of Cheesehead Country http://www.squidoo.com/my-novel-IVD